Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Joy of Being Oneself

There is such a strong underlying belief in our culture that we should be striving to be more than something. Be extraordinary. Be better than your competition. Get to a new level above your neighbor. How much stress can one person be placed under?


What if a, rather than trying so hard to be extraordinary, we focused on being ordinary in our own unique ways. Truth is, there’s no one exactly like you. No one has your visions, your heart, your inner voice. Nope, just you. You already are uniquely special, you don’t need to invent something to be that. It’s inherent in your nature to be you.

Think for a moment of the energy it takes to be extraordinary. There is a trying to be more than, and underlying belief that if you can be more than, you can also be less than, and the underlying fear that others may someday see you for what you truly are, ordinary. Now think about just being you. Your ordinary self. Feel how the pressure drops. Feel how good it feels to allow yourself to be who you fully are without trying to be more or less. Feel how it opens your heart is well and allows you to be present for those around you. Imagine this being how you live. Why isn’t it.


Trying to be extraordinary is in many ways self limiting as well. With it comes the judgment of others and an inner hierarchy of sorts that limits, not only your perceptions of who others are, but also your ability to be with others who are then perceived as less than you. This can be very lonely as there will always be that part of you that really wants to connect with others yet you may feel a barrier due to the inner judgments of who is 'as good as you'. Honestly, no one is because no one else IS you.


I don't mean not to have discernment over who you connect with. Others with truly differing values or those who you feel are not people you want to connect with because you don't trust them or don't respect them are not what I am referring to here. I mean not to judge others in ways that limit your ability to connect with anyone. With so many resources saying to 'drop everyone that isn't perfect' we can sometimes forget that others imperfections can teach us so much about ourselves and allow us to love others for who they are, in turn allowing that kind of love in as well.

With the power of ordinary, stress is also released because being ordinary has no competition. When you are you, no one else can ever be you. They can try to put on a mask that looks like you, but ultimately, that mask would wear them down as only you can be you without trying.


When I work with entrepreneurs, I am often told that they watch their competition closely. While I am all for learning from others who are also in your field of work, I don’t feel that watching them all the time is healthy. It takes away from you building your brand from your heart and causes you to focus on fear of losing rather than the joy of creating. I believe we are each given a vision of what we are brought here to create and if we focus on our vision, instead of what others are doing around us, we’ll not only be happier, we’ll be more successful. No one wants to work with someone who is living from a state of fear and need.


So, who would you be if you were your ordinary self. Would you be someone who likes to sit outside and watch the stars? Would you be someone who enjoys surfing the net sometimes with no reason at all. What would your vision be for your life if you didn’t have to worry about what others thought you should be doing? What if you didn’t have to worry about that inner voice telling you to be more than something? What if you were perfectly and completely your ordinary, uniquely special you.


Guess what, you already are. Go enjoy it!

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