Saturday, August 20, 2011
Today, I encourage you to use some opening language in your life and self-talk.
I can, I want to, I love to, I choose to.
Say these words to yourself and notice the inner power they invoke.
Now try I should, I have to...and notice how your energy dissapates.
Even when we don't want to do something, if we do it, we are making a choice.
By practicing empowering inner language, we can make our choices more consciously.
In loving light,
Monday, August 15, 2011
The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
So true, what risk do you wish to be supported for today?
Sunday, August 14, 2011
There is such a strong underlying belief in our culture that we should be striving to be more than something. Be extraordinary. Be better than your competition. Get to a new level above your neighbor. How much stress can one person be placed under?
What if a, rather than trying so hard to be extraordinary, we focused on being ordinary in our own unique ways. Truth is, there’s no one exactly like you. No one has your visions, your heart, your inner voice. Nope, just you. You already are uniquely special, you don’t need to invent something to be that. It’s inherent in your nature to be you.
Think for a moment of the energy it takes to be extraordinary. There is a trying to be more than, and underlying belief that if you can be more than, you can also be less than, and the underlying fear that others may someday see you for what you truly are, ordinary. Now think about just being you. Your ordinary self. Feel how the pressure drops. Feel how good it feels to allow yourself to be who you fully are without trying to be more or less. Feel how it opens your heart is well and allows you to be present for those around you. Imagine this being how you live. Why isn’t it.
Trying to be extraordinary is in many ways self limiting as well. With it comes the judgment of others and an inner hierarchy of sorts that limits, not only your perceptions of who others are, but also your ability to be with others who are then perceived as less than you. This can be very lonely as there will always be that part of you that really wants to connect with others yet you may feel a barrier due to the inner judgments of who is 'as good as you'. Honestly, no one is because no one else IS you.
I don't mean not to have discernment over who you connect with. Others with truly differing values or those who you feel are not people you want to connect with because you don't trust them or don't respect them are not what I am referring to here. I mean not to judge others in ways that limit your ability to connect with anyone. With so many resources saying to 'drop everyone that isn't perfect' we can sometimes forget that others imperfections can teach us so much about ourselves and allow us to love others for who they are, in turn allowing that kind of love in as well.
With the power of ordinary, stress is also released because being ordinary has no competition. When you are you, no one else can ever be you. They can try to put on a mask that looks like you, but ultimately, that mask would wear them down as only you can be you without trying.
When I work with entrepreneurs, I am often told that they watch their competition closely. While I am all for learning from others who are also in your field of work, I don’t feel that watching them all the time is healthy. It takes away from you building your brand from your heart and causes you to focus on fear of losing rather than the joy of creating. I believe we are each given a vision of what we are brought here to create and if we focus on our vision, instead of what others are doing around us, we’ll not only be happier, we’ll be more successful. No one wants to work with someone who is living from a state of fear and need.
So, who would you be if you were your ordinary self. Would you be someone who likes to sit outside and watch the stars? Would you be someone who enjoys surfing the net sometimes with no reason at all. What would your vision be for your life if you didn’t have to worry about what others thought you should be doing? What if you didn’t have to worry about that inner voice telling you to be more than something? What if you were perfectly and completely your ordinary, uniquely special you.
Guess what, you already are. Go enjoy it!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Stress is an overused term in our society and one that means something different to everyone. Your stress is not my stress and stress over work for one person could mean stress over too much work while for another it could mean doing work they don’t like, etc.
I find stress is often either inner focused, due to inner conflicts, or outer focused, due to feeling like there is something external pressing us in some way to do something or not do something.
Inner stress is often due to some form of inner conflict that is unresolved. It could be an inner conflict over a situation where one didn’t follow their heart, it could be a conflict over making an important decision, and it could even be a conflict over perceived lack of resources.
To illustrate how inner conflict can create stress, and how to release it, I’m going to offer a real-life experience of my work with a client.
I was working with a man who ran his own company, we’ll call him John. John loved his clients and felt that he wanted to do everything in his power to help them. To that end, John often found himself making promises that, while he fully intended to fulfill them at the time stated, he did not have the time or resources to truly follow through with. This left
John in a constant state of stress and inner conflict.
We began working together by looking at the part of him that kept overextending. We found that part never felt good enough and therefore it kept acting like it was more, in order to show the world it WAS enough. We took the time to heal that part’s pain and shifted the inner belief of being good enough.
Next, we set up a list of what John could actually offer his clients and put it on a special paper with a top and bottom that were the same. John kept copies of that list with him at all times and, rather than tell a client what he was going to do for them, we set up an inner strategy from which he would check off the list what he would do for them and hand them the top copy and keep the bottom copy for his files so that he always knew what he had promised and had a check list to go from that he could actually follow through with. Within 3 weeks this was fully in place and his stress level decreased as his energy increased as now he is living by his word and could follow through with is promises.
Third, we looked at his tendency for exaggeration and how it conflicted with his inner values. He felt that he needed to show his clients that he could do everything they needed, even if he really didn’t know how. Then he would feel badly that he lied and have to find the resources to follow through which kept him in a vicious circle of lies and cover-up. We began a practice for him to practice being honest. We also grew his network to include others who could do the things he didn’t do, and really didn’t want to do (added resources).
John let me know that as he began living his values of being truthful and following through on his word, his entire life changed. His business did too as through the networking, he was also now getting new referrals.
Once John’s stress had reduced, he had time and energy to spend on his life. He grew closer to his wife and began to feel softer with his son. He’s reported to me that each time he feels stress now he asks himself the three questions we came up with:
1. What is the conflict and is it an inner conflict or outer conflict?
2. If I took action based on my inner values, how would I take action?
3. Are there resources that I need to obtain to make a better decision?
It’s amazing how quickly we shift when we live our lives with our values and our heart.
Blessings and may you find your truth and live it with vigor and light!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.
Mary Jean Iron